Family Matters

• If you know a family staying in a disaster shelters insure that they are vigilant in knowing where there children are at all time.  Shelters provided by the American Red Cross http://www.redcross.org/ and the Salvation Army www.salvationarmyusa.org/  are among those who know the risk related to children and seek to provide adequate security and safeguards.

• Churches are second only to the public school system in the number of children served weekly.  Yet, churches are vulnerable because they are a community of trust.  Child predators sometimes seek affiliation with churches to access children. Ask the church providing disaster services for children whether or not they follow Child Protection First or similar policies. A sample of this policy can be found at http://www.alsbom.org/clientimages/36469/sbom_offices/leadercare_church_administration/protectingchildrenandyouthfromsexualmisconductinyourchurchcorrect.pdf

• When seeking childcare verify that all employees and volunteers with unaccompanied access to children have undergone a background screening. A sex offender central registry check is available at no cost through your county child protection agency.  In Alabama, contact the county DHR Office.  You can find the location at www.dhr.alabama.gov   

• Insure that the child care facility has a child identification procedure that will prohibit unauthorized people from "checking out" children without proper authorization.

• If you suspect anyone of preying on children, abusing or attempting to abuse a child in anyway contact local law enforcement or your child protection agency. In Alabama a list of the county offices can be found at to  http://dhr.alabama.gov/ 

•   If you know of children whose parent(s) is/are hospitalized or were killed in this disaster and are not in the care of a legal guardian contact your county child protection agency.

• To learn who the registered sex offenders are in your community each state maintaining a database with public access. In Alabama the registry is found at http://dps.alabama.gov/Community/

• Children of divorced parents are increasingly the victims of abuse and neglect. They exhibit more health, behavioral, and emotional problems, are involved more frequently in crime and drug abuse, and have higher suicide rates.
• Children of parents who have divorced more frequently demonstrate a diminished learning capacity, performing more poorly than their peers from intact two-parent families in reading, spelling, and math. They have higher dropout rates and lower rates of college graduation.
• Divorce generally reduces the income of the child's primary household and seriously diminishes the potential of every household member to accumulate wealth. For families that were not poor before the divorce, the drop in income can be as much as 50 percent.
• Religious worship, which has been linked to health and happiness as well as longer marriages and better family life, is less prevalent in divorced families.

As a twenty year veteran of the U.S. Army, law enforcement and foster care I assure you that at no time in the history of our world are the children you love more susceptible to child sexual abuse. Oh yes, we hear regularly of “stranger danger” when a child is abducted and often killed by a pedophile. However, the greatest risk our children face is not strangers. In the greatest majority of the case the sex offender is well know and often liked by the child and the child’s family. Child sexual abuse is the “silent epidemic.”

Consider these facts.

• 90% of child sexual abuse victims know the perpetrator in some way; 68% are abused by family members.

• Child abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all religions and at all levels of education.

• 59% gain sexual access to their victims through, seduction or enticement.

• The typical child sex offender molests an average of 117 children, most of who do not report the offense.

• About 60% of the male survivors sampled report at least one of their perpetrators to be female.


Cyber Predators.

No only could the offender be someone you know.  The predator could be in "cyberspace." A growing problem is cyber child predators. These individuals often pose as children or teens to begin online dialogues with victims. They are shrewd, intelligent and persistent. With older youth they may use extortion or threats.

Don’t fall into a false sense of security. Your children may be at risk right now. Even with decades of knowledge related to child predators two of my own daughters were preyed upon.

Fortunately because of sound relationship with our children my wife and I were told that someone had gain access to both their college and personal email accounts. The local police and FBI were contacted and an investigation launched. Even though there was many dozens of victims my daughters were the first to report the crime. The majority of the parents were not even aware that their teens had been victims until contacted by the FBI and other law enforcement authorities after the seizure of the perpetrators computer.

See this online FBI Press Release for details.

http://birmingham.fbi.gov/dojpressrel/pressrel08/bh080508.htm


Families, be vigilant in protecting your children. If I can help let me know.

Grandparents Day is this Sunday and I am convinced that the prayers of my maternal grandmother are the reason I am a Christian today. Although she died when I was over a decade old the legacy she left was one of a loving service to God, family and others. Ironically, she collapsed and died one Sunday morning while getting ready to go to church and lead a Bible study.

Just a few months ago I had the opportunity to speak at the funeral of another wonderful grandmother. She was the grandmother of my children. She too was a servant. She too was a Bible teacher. She too was a woman of influence even though she never was a person of affluence. She died in the home she was born in the arms of another great grandmother, my wife.

Last week I had the opportunity to "babysit" my granddaughter while her parent when on a "date."  I must admit I would have rather read a book of my own instead of her select.  I also would have watch something other than "Mickey" on T.V.  However, the highlight of our few hours alone was when she cuddled up under my arm.  A sign of affection?  A sign of trust?  Whatever the reason I loved it.

While my wife and I have only been grandparents for just over two years it has been a joy. This joy is not uncommon. According to grandparents.com 72% think being a grandparent is the single most important and satisfying thing in their life.

Here’s more evidence that grandparents love their role

• 63% say they can do a better job caring for grandchildren than they did with their own

• 68% think being a grandparent brings them closer to their adult children

• 90% enjoy talking about their grandkids to just about everyone

Grandparents take care of the grandchildren.

• 72% take care of their grandchildren on a regular basis

• 13% are primary caregivers

• 92% have changed their grandchild's diaper

• 64% accompany their adult children or grandchildren to the doctor

Grandparents are generous with their time and money.

• They make 45% of the nation’s cash contributions to nonprofit organizations.

• They account for 42% of all consumer spending on gifts.

• 15% have volunteered at a shelter

Oh, and don’t forget this Sunday, September 12, 2010 is Grandparents Day. About 66% of grandparents have never celebrated this day. Make it a special day for a grandparent you know and love.