Family Matters

The ultimate book on wisdom is Proverbs. One brief verse that echos in my mind is, "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice." Proverb 12:15 (ESV)  Here's a few tidbits to ponder.

• "The family should be a closely knit group. The home should be a self-contained shelter of security; a kind of school where life’s basic lessons are taught; and a kind of church where God is honored; a place where wholesome recreation and simple pleasures are enjoyed." --Billy Graham, “My Answer,” syndicated newspaper column


• "Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain." --Found in The Bible, Psalm 127:1, NIV

• "It’s important to let our kids know we are aware of our inadequacies. Tell them. You have nothing to lose in honestly admitting to them that you didn’t do everything correctly as a parent. The admission may be the key to opening communication and beginning the process of healing your relationships with your kids." --Stephen Arterburn and Jim Burns, When Love is not Enough"

• “Discipline is demanded of the athlete to win a game. Discipline is required for the captain running his ship. Discipline is needed for the pianist to practice for the concert. . . .If parents believe standards are necessary, then discipline certainly is needed to attain them." --Gladys Brooks, as quoted in The Gift of Family by Naomi Rhode

• "Let your eyes light up when your children are around. Laugh more. Tell them how empty and quiet it is when they’re not there. Enjoy the things they bring to your life. Attend their activities, not as if they were compulsory for parents, but throw yourself into their lives." --Valerie Bell, Getting Out of your Kids’ Faces and into Their Hearts

For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust. Psalm 103:14

From October 3, 1954 'til September 17, 1960, father knew best. On 203 television episodes of Father Knows Best, Jim Anderson was the go-to guy for his family. Whether an episode's crisis revolved around Jim's wife, Margaret, or the three children—"Princess," "Bud," and "Kitten"—Jim was the man with a plan, week after week. Viewers knew that, within the space of a half hour, the most faithful and consistent father in America would always come through.

Christians also have a Father who knows best. And He knows best because He knows us so well. It should be an amazing source of comfort to every believer that they are known and loved intimately by the God who created them. "Episode after episode" in our lives, God is there to provide solutions and support in the way that He knows is best. The solutions may not come in a half hour like they did in the original TV show, but they will come—even if the solution is "No" or "Wait." God's answers are not given primarily for our comfort but for our conformity to Christ (Romans 8:29).

If you have a question or a crisis, take it to the Father who knows you best. You can trust His response, whatever it is.

What is a Christian? . . . The richest answer I know is that a Christian is one who has God as his Father.
J. I. Packer

The father of Jonathan Edwards was a minister and his mother was the daughter of a clergyman. Among their descendants were fourteen presidents of colleges, more than one hundred college professors, more than one hundred lawyers, thirty judges, sixty physicians more than a hundred clergymen, missionaries and theology professors, and about sixty authors. There is scarcely any great American industry that has not had one of his family among its chief promoters. Such is the product of one American Christian family, reared under the most favorable conditions.


The contrast is presented in the Jukes family, which could not be made to study and would not work, and is said to have cost the state of New York a million dollars. Their entire record is one of pauperism and crime, insanity and imbecility. Among their twelve hundred know descendants, three hundred ten were professional paupers, four hundred forty were physically wrecked by their own wickedness, sixty were habitual thieves, one hundred thirty were convicted criminals, fifty-five were victims of impurity, only twenty learned a trade (and ten of these learned it in a state prison) and this notorious family produced seven murderers. (Sanders, p.90)

What is the foundation of your family?

Sanders, J.O. (1958). A spiritual clinic. Chicago, IL: Moody Press.

In 1947 sociologist and historian Carle Zimmerman compared the deterioration and ultimate disintegration of various cultures with the parallel in the decline of family unit in American. His study identified specific patterns of behavior that typified the final stages of the disintegration of each culture. Just before each culture fell into total disarray, certain conditions became prominent Dr. Zimmerman traced those elements that led to the demise of the family unit There are eleven in all and among the eleven were:

• Increase and rapid, easy, “causeless” divorce (Guilty and innocent party theory became a pure fictions.)
• Deceased number of children, population decay, and increased public disrespect for parents and parenthood.
• Elimination of the real meaning of the marriage ceremony.
• Popularity of pessimistic doctrines about the early heros.
• Breaking down of most inhibitions against adultery.
• Revolts of youth against parents so that parenthood became more and more difficult for those who did try to raise children.
• Rapid rise and spread of juvenile delinquency.
• Common acceptance of all forms of sex perversions.

So how is the American family doing?


Carle C Zimmerman, Family and Civilization (New York, Harper & Brothers, 1947 pp. 776-777

In the rough and violent 1930’s in Chicago. The Mafia’s membership included a slick lawyer they called Artful Eddie because he was so good at keeping Al Capone out of jail. Time after time, he outwitted the authorities. But Eddie was also the father of a boy named Butch, and deep inside he knew his crime career would severely limit Butch’s opportunities in the further. What else could the son do but follow in his father’s footsteps?

Finally, t he man made a fateful choice, He squealed on Capone. Why? the cops wanted to know. “I want to give my son a break,” Eddie answered, and this time he wasn’t being artful.

Not many weeks later, the mob silenced him forever with two shotgun blasts. Butch, however, went on to apply to Annapolis, and because his father had cleared the family name, he was accepted. In World War II he was the Navy’s number-one ace. The first naval aviator ever to win the Congressional Medal of Honor. A few years later, they christened a new Chicago airport after him, and today nearly every traveler in North American knows his name: O’Hare. Instead of going down in history as despicable and vile, the family is remembered with pride.

What are you willing to sacrifice for your children?