Sunday, September 25, 2011

 “I Couldn’t Do That To My Own Children”

     “Oh Bob, I couldn’t do that to my own children.” This is a statement I sometimes hear when talking to people about the possibility of ministering to needy children as a foster parent. When I hear comments like this I silently pray, “Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to be a foster parent and what it has done to my children.” Following is two of many reasons why I offer this prayer of thanksgiving; two of my daughters. 

     Today, I have two married daughters whose lives were intertwined with dozens of foster children for two decades.  From their earliest childhood experiences, seldom do they remember a time when foster children were not a part of our family. If you sat down with these two young women today and asked, “How did being a part of a foster family impact your life?” the response would be something like, “God blessed me as part of a foster family and helped shape me into the person I am today.” 

      Our oldest daughter was a “big sister” to dozens of children. I believe that because she was in an environment with so many younger children, she developed leadership and nurturing skills even before she entered elementary school.  As she grew she went on to become a leader in her high school and university and as an educator and mentor for at-risk children.  After serving as a mentor for at-risk teens, she was approached by a school administrator asking her to consider teaching in an intercity school with a highly diverse student body.  Later, as she interviewed for the position, she was asked about how she would deal with the challenges of a diverse student population where many of the students are from at-risk families.  Her response was something like, “As long as I can remember I have been a part of a family with a diverse population where many of the children were from at-risk families."  Because of her ability to adjust to all sorts of situations she was offered the job, and she readily accepted the challenge.  After just one year in the classroom with many troubled youth, she was named “New Teacher of the Year” in her large school system.

     And her husband is a servant as well (a good reason she was attracted to him). He has served his country as a U.S. Air Force Officer since graduating from college.  But his servant spirit began years previous as a firefighter and life guard.  As I proudly watch him work together with my daughter in parenting my beautiful granddaughter and handsome grandson, I am most thankful.

     Another reason for me to be thankful took place several months ago.   I observed my second daughter and the young man who is now her husband at a gathering of adults interested in orphan care.  While they where the youngest adults in attendance, they knew much more about the plight of orphans than some twice their age.  The ministers, community leaders, adoptive and foster families, and others child advocates all shared with others in attendance why they came to the gathering.  Near the end of the “share time” my son-in-law (who has been around our family for years) and daughter captured the attention of the group as they expressed their calling to reach out to needy children. Their passion for needy children was expressed with not only words but also tears as well. You see, both of them had “been there – done that.” They had not only heard about needs, they had touched and had been touched by the lives of the less fortunate in their community and beyond. This daughter and son-in-law had regularly traveled to serve children in an area that is labeled “poorest county in the U.S.” This daughter also worked at an orphanage in Uganda, cared for the children of young widows in our own community, and nurtured hundreds of children in a large church’s preschool ministry.  Now with a degree in early childhood education, she continues to impact the lives of little ones. And my new son-in-law?  Well, he is serving in an intercity church that has as one of its focuses, at-risk youth.

     Yes, when my wife and I first became foster parents our oldest daughter was very young.  And yes, we were somewhat concerned about how fostering would impact our daughter and later our other birth children. In fact, our adopted son, who was severely abused as an infant, came to us as a foster child and was adopted the same month our second daughter was born.  

     All families, regardless of the composition, have challenges and we have not been the exception.  However, looking back over the last twenty-five years we could not have imagined the positive impact that growing up as foster sisters would have on these two grown daughters.

     Finally I would like to say I am so thankful what God did through foster parenting to my wife and I and these two grown daughters.  Blessings do not always come to us as we expect. 

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