Sunday, September 25, 2011
9:28 PM | Posted by
Bob Dewhurst |
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“I Couldn’t Do That To
My Own Children”
“Oh Bob, I
couldn’t do that to my own children.” This is a statement I sometimes hear when
talking to people about the possibility of ministering to needy children as a
foster parent. When I hear comments like this I silently pray, “Thank you,
Lord, for allowing me to be a foster parent and what it has done to my
children.” Following is two of many reasons why I offer this prayer of
thanksgiving; two of my daughters.
Today, I have
two married daughters whose lives were intertwined with dozens of foster
children for two decades. From their earliest childhood experiences,
seldom do they remember a time when foster children were not a part of our
family. If you sat down with these two young women today and asked, “How did
being a part of a foster family impact your life?” the response would be
something like, “God blessed me as part of a foster family and helped shape me
into the person I am today.”
Our oldest
daughter was a “big sister” to dozens of children. I believe that because she
was in an environment with so many younger children, she developed leadership
and nurturing skills even before she entered elementary school. As she
grew she went on to become a leader in her high school and university and
as an educator and mentor for at-risk children. After serving as a mentor
for at-risk teens, she was approached by a school administrator asking her to
consider teaching in an intercity school with a highly diverse student
body. Later, as she interviewed for the position, she was asked
about how she would deal with the challenges of a diverse student population
where many of the students are from at-risk families. Her response
was something like, “As long as I can remember I have been a part of a family
with a diverse population where many of the children were from at-risk
families." Because of her ability to adjust to all sorts of
situations she was offered the job, and she readily accepted the
challenge. After just one year in the classroom with many troubled
youth, she was named “New Teacher of the Year” in her large school system.
And her husband
is a servant as well (a good reason she was attracted to him). He has served
his country as a U.S. Air Force Officer since graduating from
college. But his servant spirit began years previous as a
firefighter and life guard. As I proudly watch him work together
with my daughter in parenting my beautiful granddaughter and
handsome grandson, I am most thankful.
Another reason
for me to be thankful took place several months ago. I observed my
second daughter and the young man who is now her husband at a gathering of
adults interested in orphan care. While they where the youngest
adults in attendance, they knew much more about the plight of orphans than some
twice their age. The ministers, community leaders, adoptive and
foster families, and others child advocates all shared with others in
attendance why they came to the gathering. Near the end of the
“share time” my son-in-law (who has been around our family for years) and daughter
captured the attention of the group as they expressed their calling to reach
out to needy children. Their passion for needy children was expressed with not
only words but also tears as well. You see, both of them had “been there – done
that.” They had not only heard about needs, they had touched and had been
touched by the lives of the less fortunate in their community and beyond. This
daughter and son-in-law had regularly traveled to serve children in an area
that is labeled “poorest county in the U.S.” This daughter also worked at an
orphanage in Uganda, cared for the children of young widows in our own
community, and nurtured hundreds of children in a large church’s preschool
ministry. Now with a degree in early childhood education, she
continues to impact the lives of little ones. And my new
son-in-law? Well, he is serving in an intercity church that has as
one of its focuses, at-risk youth.
Yes, when my
wife and I first became foster parents our oldest daughter was very young. And
yes, we were somewhat concerned about how fostering would impact our daughter
and later our other birth children. In fact, our adopted son, who was severely
abused as an infant, came to us as a foster child and was adopted the same
month our second daughter was born.
All families,
regardless of the composition, have challenges and we have not been the
exception. However, looking back over the last twenty-five years we
could not have imagined the positive impact that growing up as foster sisters
would have on these two grown daughters.
Finally I would
like to say I am so thankful what God did through foster parenting to my wife
and I and these two grown daughters. Blessings do not always come to
us as we expect.
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